Lately I’ve been lost.
The last week or two, I’ve felt like I had no idea what I’m doing with myself. Not just with writing, but with everything I’m trying to do.
Work has been unfulfilling, my training felt like it was at a standstill, and my creative endeavors felt pointless. Life’s as a whole has just been a bit meh, lately.
Weird thing is, I had this notion that this had been going on for ages. That I’d been walking around feeling like this for, weeks, maybe months. Turns out – when I do a little bit of mental time-tracking and investigation (also known as remembering) – that less than two weeks ago I felt pretty good about everything.
So what’s the deal?
Of course, there is no deal. Life goes up and down, that’s just the way it is. That’s the price, but also the reward, of living. Can’t have highs without lows, it just doesn’t work like that.
What it really comes down to then, is to find an efficient way to, 1) Recognize a low, and 2) Find a way out of it.
Because no one likes being low. I can enjoy that sad melancholy of it occasionally, kind of like when you listen to a sad song and look at the pouring rain on car window, because you enjoy that feeling of it in that exact moment. But most of the time I want it to go away. I much prefer being on a high, feeling like what I’m doing matters.
Last night, I recognized one of those lows. I walked around here, trying to find something I wanted to spend my evening on, and caught myself thinking that absolutely everything was pointless. In that moment, that second I noticed myself thinking that, I managed to turn it around. I managed to get to step 2: Find a way out of it.
Now, I’m not sure exactly what I did. Maybe it was the fact that I recognized myself in that situation that made me able to turn it around, but it worked. I sat down with my guitar, tried to be creative for a bit – but not for too long! – then I moved on to other things I enjoy. I cooked myself dinner, watched a show, read a book, played a game, and called my wife.
In one sense, it’s just all the things I always do.
For some reason, it worked. Something changed. I woke up this morning (just a few hours ago), feeling completely different.
Now I’m going to try to hold onto this high feeling for a bit. It’s much more preferable.
What do you do when you feel low? Do you have go-to remedy that brings you back on track? A comfort food or a favorite show? A movie you’ve watched a dozen times that always makes everything right? Let me know in the comments!
And please, if you like thrillers and want to support an indie author, check out my books. You can pre-order my upcoming psychological thriller At The Gate today!