How come good news only lasts for about 5 minutes before some random thought comes around and ruins it all?
At the start of September I had a novella accepted for publication. It’s the biggest, amazingest news I’ve had in ages. I should be – and am – really excited and proud of it.
Then somehow, a few days later, my whole passion for writing came tumbling down over something as stupid as newsletter subscribers.
Not really, but I was talking about it with someone, someone’s who is really good at building their newsletter and I was struck with a sensation that I should be to. A feeling that if I wasn’t doing as well as them, then I wasnt doing well at all.
That whole publishing deal thing was suddenly far gone and forgotten somewhere in the back of my mind, and all I could think of was every rejection, every no, every story I’ve written that’s never gotten anywhere, and everything I’m not doing that everyone else is having huge success with.
Where did that happiness and excitement go?
Why is it like that? Why are good – no, great news – so easily washed away by the slightest, miniscule hint of something that isn’t currently going as well as it might have done?
I’m like this with a lot of aspects of my life. Great effort at the gym today? Sure, but that guy over there in the corner is much stronger than me. Did well with that project at work? Yeah I guess, but colleagues X, Y and Z are doing so much better. Learned a difficult song on the guitar? Yeah, but what about this other tune?
I can’t be the only one who does this to themselves?
I don’t know why the sweet aftertaste of victory only lasts for a hot second, while the foul stench of hypothetical defeat seems to linger forever. I don’t have a good answer for you – actually, I’m hoping I can learn from someone’s who is better at celebrating their victories than me. Because I know I don’t have let it be like this.
So today I’m raising a glass to myself and my novella, as well as all other future achievements. They can’t be celebrated enough.