So I’ve been seeing a lot of blog posts, facebook updates and tweets lately – about how great everyone’s doing. It seems everybody’s WIP is the best thing that ever happened to them, they’re writing it so easily, everything is falling in to place, and their lives are just perfect.
It seems no one is having any problems at all this week.
And here I am – thinking I might just go live in a cardboard box on the street, because nothing I ever do will matter.
Okay, that might have been a bit much – but you know what I mean! I’ve completely lost the feel for the book I’m currently writing, book 2 in the Columbus Archives series, and it’s the most awful feeling in the world.
It feels like it doesn’t make sense anymore. Like it’s complete and utter crap. As if my long and detailed layout was written by a five-year-old.
Of course I know it isn’t true. I’ve written over half of the book, and even though I know I need to rewrite parts of it, I know a lot of it makes sense. It just doesn’t feel that way.
It feels alien, as if I lost the train of thought I had when I planned it. As if I don’t remember what ideas I started out with, and as if I don’t know how to piece it all together.
Last time I sat down to write (a few days ago), I wrote 92 words.
What’s going on? I know I had good ideas, (and they’re still there), and I know I want to finish the book.
But then why did it suddenly become so difficult?
It’s weird because I’m not even in a particular difficult part of the book. It’s one of the most planned out scenes I’ve done, so why is it so difficult to get it down on paper/(screen)?
Often my go to advice when you can’t write, is to read. And luckily I’m not in a rut in that department as well. But whenever I read something, it’s always so amazing. Much better than what I’m currently doing. Yet again, I know that what I’m saying isn’t necessarily true – but the feeling is still there. The feeling of insignificance.
I keep thinking that it would have been better if I was actually stuck in my writing, if I actually didn’t know how to carry on the story, or if I’d gotten to a part that I hadn’t quite planned out yet. But that’s not the case either. I’m super confident in what I need to write, and how to write it. I just can’t… do it.
Writing this blog post has made me conclude I’m probably just lazy. Maybe if I quit this blog post here, and open the document with my book in it, I can continue writing there..